An American in Paris

Somerville, Mass - I am so proud of my fellow countrymen and women. According to a poll conducted by Expedia and published by the BBC, Americans are #9 on the list of the World's Best Tourists.

In case you are wondering, the French are the worst tourists. (Eh, bien sur, comme ils sont difficiles!)

 According to the article, Americans are most likely `to swallow their pride and order... in the local lingo.' Initially I was surprised by this assessment, as Americans are notoriously bad at learning foreign languagues. It just goes to show that you don't actually have to speak the lingo to please the locals, you just have to be willing to `swallow your pride' and give it a try - even if it means an oral butchering.

The article goes on to say that `US tourists also get top marks for generosity, as the biggest spenders and tippers.' This is directly related to the fact that we pay barstaff and restaurant servers below minimum wage in our country, which means that a 15-20% tip is practically mandatory. In Europe (and other places), restaurant workers actually receive a living wage from their employers, so the guests tip very little, if at all.

Such habits are hard to break. On more than one occasion, I have secretly supplemented the stingey tip left by otherwise generous European dining companions (in the US).

Indeed, I feel like I may have single-handedly skewed the numbers on this poll, since I tend to overtip pretty much everywhere I go (ever since my days waiting tables and earning below minimum wage). At least it seems to be appreciated by folks in the local hospitality industry.

Alas, my compatriots have fallen `short on other counts as the least tidy, the loudest, the worst complainers and the worst dressed.'

The French came in third place for cleanliness, so they beat us there. So much for calling them `the dirty French.'

What really concerns me is this bit about being poorly dressed. My fellow Americans, let us support President Obama in his efforts to improve America's global image. The single most effective thing we can do is to stop wearing sweatshirts and sneakers on the streets of Paris and Rome. Let's throw out our fanny packs! Let's show the rest of the world that we have pride in our nation - that our pockets are not only deep, but they are also well-stitched. Yes we can!